slow down,i just can't keep up

Acquaintance

2011-05-20T20:43:00.000-07:00

Simply cannot understand the frequent headaches i'm experiencing lately. It comes and go as it wish. Ignorance is bliss. I have no plans to see a doctor.

Lately,i came to realise the irony that it is easier to speak to a stranger than to someone you know.

And here ,ill shall share with you my encounter.

Met this schoolmate i don't even know on a rainy evening by lending her my umbrella. You know, usually i would not have given a damn at all. I have completely no idea what happened to me. I could have walk on but i didn't. I'm so proud of myself, i have changed, honestly. I'm not even ashamed to compliment myself.

Until today, i don't know what sparked me to even offer to shelter her home, which actually was not that far away from mine. Then , subsequently, we sat the same bus home and we talked about school,that's all. The thing is, we have the freedom to speak our mind.
she even asked me once why do i have an expressionless face sometimes (paraphrased) and i just admit that i have problems expressing myself. My point is, we won't be cautious with our words to strangers.
That's why, sometimes, to not know someone is knowing someone.

Does this apply to everyone , or just me?
Regardless, i felt i have leveled up, i am starting to stop pretending i don't care about anything.
This calls for a celebration huh

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend

There is school tomorrow.
6 days of school a week, just cannot get enough.
40km more to go, 5 more months
What if the apocalypse is true?
Then this could be my last post.

Fashion Photog

2011-04-20T21:59:00.000-07:00

I miss portrait photography :(
Apparently the bridge is going to be demolished.

It's pouring again

2011-04-15T18:47:00.000-07:00

The weather lately is strange. It's always raining around late afternoon.
In some way, i kinda like it, cause im a sucker for rainy days.

Here I am blogging again, like sucha rare event. It just that Bio notes are spread across the table but the sight of it bores me to tears. However interesting cancer is, it is definetly not funny. I honestly do not understand how people can joke about cancer as if like it ain't nothing.
Well, perhaps i am being over sensitive. I have to understand people who doesn't have the experience of knowing friends having to face this ordeal. To think, it could be a good sign that people joke about cancer like in a it-is-no-enemy attitude.

Actually i wonder why are most of my blog post typed in a negative sort-of tone? Yeah, i know, there is no one happy thing that i can think of to blog about. Oh wait, did i mention i actually won 3rd of Biennale, Pioneer Arts Fiesta Photo Judging last weekend. I guess there is just ONE happy thing i can share with you guys. First time getting an award ever since i got obsessed with photography. Stepping stones i guess?

Recently, out of the blue, Ive started researching on the last days of Chernobyl (1986) due to interest and the whole event actually freaked me out big time. Horrible, terrible mess the place became. 'Invisible-enemy' they call it, still lurks in every corner of the once-populated land. I'm hereby convinced that nuclear energy does more harm than good. Honestly, burn all the fossils for all i care, i am just going to go against nuclear energy up down left right center.

As much as i would like to comment on the upcomng GE, i guess i better keep my comments to myself in case i get myself in trouble. But still, topic of GE bores me , i hope strait times cover less of it, although it doesn't really matter since i read New York Times more often lately. Yeah,everybody just making a hooha over GE. 'Youths not ready for GE...' blahbah... its less of 'not ready' but more of 'heck care'. I may be interested in politics but if you ask me to vote my stand, i would rather cast a void, if you know what i meant.

Its FHC's syf today. Its been 2 years, i would be lying if i say i do not miss the choir scene.
Results soon, i can't wait to hear it frrom my sister.

The doctors gave my mom diaxepam.. i would have already guess that. Hope she gets better soon. The sight of her odd behavior is heart wrenching.

i want to tell you how much i need you badly

Back

2011-03-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

I honestly did not realised that i haven't been blogging for more than a month.
Nowadays blogging hadn't popped up in my mind often.

So many things happened within this one month.
Common Test 1 is over and probably i regretted not studying harder for it. I meant i felt really tired throughout the march 'holidays' and i just felt like heading out to catch up with people every single day. I know i could have done better. Results are yet to be out though and yeah i shouldn't have too much expectations..

Another thing to be excited is Biennale open house 2011! I am quite impressed, currently, after visiting both the Old Kallang Airport and SAM. If they had bigger budget , i believe it would have been better. Oh well, what to expect from this such a art-disregarding society? Even most people around me give no damn to whatsoever ART.

Also , about the tsunami cum earthquake that hit Japan real hard. I can hardly handle the whole apocalyptic-situation going on around the whole, not just Japan. But the funny thing is the first thing i thought was my family back at Iwate. Thankfully i heard that they are fine and the shibutami area was not affected. Its funny how we formed that bond even my Japanese sucked big time. I swear that i am heading there to look for them after the situation there improved. Perhaps i am being all ambitious again? With all the radiation-thing going on, i can hardly imagine myself taking that much a risk :(
I thought i can only see such devastating images and videos from movies. This is reality!
Apparently, i read the papers today and it was mentioned that in the Quran ( i don't know if the spelling is right) it says that all these disasters are meant to be a test to mankind and not a punishment. However controversial it may be, i would still like to believe differently because a test is honestly an understatement.

Oh I just have to mention how fun school was. I'm still feeling the withdrawal symptoms from the 3-day break after cts henceforth the rare occurence of me blogging :O
Gp was actually good today in the sense i've learnt many things on my own, for once? Initially i was still pretty confused about the whole japan nuclear-crisis issue. But duing math lecture, i kept nodding off , stats is just wayyyyyy boring.

Have i crapped enough? I think i have.
Holy, 6 odd months more to A levels :(

孤独老人

2011-02-20T19:28:00.000-08:00

Monopoly deal is overrated.
It is concluded (by me) boring and close to 70% luck, which is totally not the point of monopoly in the first place. However , to make me a rational person, i did have 2 exciting 'matches' with my sister where both of us got bankrupt alternatively.

Anyways, don't find me a skitzo, i merely happen to see a cheap deck of monopoly deal and bought it.

Precious weekends are about to come to and end, i swear with my life, next week ill cherish it more than this week's cause i kinda take weekends for granted. Now that its about to end, i really feel very tired. No more overnight studying for me, woke up to a huge ghostly messed up face.

Anyone know how much this shirt is worth now? I honestly love it ( cause of TOP's initals on it) but i can't help but think about the monetary value of it. Brand new and original patent tag still on it HOR.

Well, anyway..
Posted the rive angbao's pictures finally. on facebook, do check 'em out, i promise it isn't disappointing.

Just when i was about to give up, you surfaced again ...

Need you now

2011-02-18T23:57:00.000-08:00

I have always admire yoshinoya's geniusly set portion of food.
There is greens and browns and little rice, just right for a standard non-sinful meal.

So school have been like this.
Jailed in the soon-collasping environment for about 10h per day, doing the same thing everyday. Either rushing for a particular lesson, if not queuing up to get toast breads if not dozing off in class. I really felt like gving up somewhere in the middle of the week. But, too much to lose. I odviously cannot affrod that thought.

Valentine'sday passed as well, odviously hassle-less, in a way.

And CNY officially ended without big fuss...

Random shots for the week. Getting to hold on to D5000 is making me hyped. However , I have haardly the time to start on the One Shot of Fame for this month for Feb.
Time to head to dreamland, 7h of sleep a day....

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now

And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Becoming a better person

2011-02-11T22:18:00.000-08:00

How should i start?
I know , this will get better as days pass.
Like it did last time.
Tonight, i fought the biggest urge of my life.

OC

2011-02-01T22:11:00.000-08:00

Happiness?

2011-01-29T22:37:00.000-08:00

A sudden urge to blog a post.
Its been a while since i last posted, and alot of things happened during this 'a while'.
So much that i think this space will overflow.

Realised that being human is harder than i thought, so vulnerable ,so weak, so prone to anything.
Heh, seemed like i need to find a vamp to bite me now already.

Happiness is not really what you can tell on the face, or through body language, it is an inelastic word. if you stretch it too much, it'll snip. I know this person, whom i cherish, have a life full of promises ahead. Funny, adorable and very brainy. A year barely pass after i last saw the smile ill never forget, and things can change so drastically. As if , a dementor came by and sucked up all happiness. Other then strength, i don't think i can offer anything else. I feel more useless than ever.

When the guy up there changes our lifestory into such as tragic tale, will you fight on or surrender? Who wants to live to die? Maybe being a quitter isnt that bad in this context.

But all i really want to say this ;nothing else but ' Fight On', because i aint no quitter, and i believe you aren't too. I don't wave white panties around.

On a happier tone, new year holiday is approaching , maybe that explains me lying down on the bed blogging instead of doing some revision work. At least today was a good day. I woke up in the morning, headed down to NUS with comm members and attended a photographic event. Went home with so much new ideas, new lessons and not forgetting a Canon Lens Mug . I have always wanted that! maybe LOA is working for me already. I will display more belief on LOA :)

Pnc scanning scares the shit out of me, perhaps ill upload the pnc scan next post.
My tonsilectomy issue is currently a standstill. Under a month observation.
Hopefully i get better ..

P.S. I miss thailand ( photo taken at centralworld ,Bangkok)

The Secret

2011-01-07T00:31:00.000-08:00

Now get this: you have at least sixty thousand thoughts a day. And with this many thoughts bouncing around in your head, it may seem impossible to control them. What you can do however, is to focus on how you're feeling. See, when you are feeling good, you can't help but think good thoughts and feel even better. And all these good thoughts attract more good thoughts and more good feelings. And that sets up the attraction for all the great stuff to come your way. That's when you know you're on roll, a lucky streak, a perfect day.

But if you're feeling upset or depressed, that tells you that your thoughtts are hedgind on the dark side. And that often leads to a spiral of bad thoughts and bad feelings. Things often go from bad to worse and, it's a vicious cycle - a very bad day. Like, when something goes wrong in the morning - say there is no hot water for your shower, or milk left for your cereal. And eveything spirals downward from there, one unlucky break after another. It started out with just one negative thought. Your vibee becomes locked up into this chain reaction of bad attractions. You're stuck in a losing streak.

You can turn a bad day around just by changing the way you're thinking and feeling. When you realise there is no hot water for your shower, don't get mad , instead think about the people that is living without water; when you have no more milk left, take it as a reminder to buy a fresh carton of milk. It is that easy.

The idea here is to stay awake and ask yoursef 'How am I feeling now?' How is my vibe?'
How you feel is what you attract.

What this power is , i cannot say.
All I know is that it exist.
-Alex G. Bell

Adapted from The Secret.

Dum Spiro Spero

2011-01-06T00:44:00.000-08:00

Cr. Flickr- NoDivision

每个刺青都有自已的故事 - 竹子
刺青原因：-

I have always adore tattoo of a pen/quill.

I am posting again, because i am feeling really complicated now. It doesn't show on my face yesh I know. ' What to do?' , I have been asking myself that question since morning, still no answers.
But, making myself busy helps to divert all my unnecessary-yet-still-there-troubling-issues. Today photog finished mounting all photos onto the blackboards. To think i dragged a bag of 18 blackboards from jurong point to school. Next step, is to hang them up to where they are supposed to and one burden down, more to come.

My stomach is growling now, because i think i ate too much good food this holiday my body wants more and more, but i have to stop my growth in volume so i have been cutting down on binging.

School is going to resume in 3 days time, in some way i can't wait. However, my sister thinks that i am anxious about school thats why i have all the sudden emotion-spill. Whatever the cause it, i wish it'll stop, because the truth is, i want to avoid, i want to run away. My only helpline is studying hard right? I do not wish to disturb anyone with my rants, so the only way is still here..

So what if i can make a wall out of steel, I am nothing more than someone who doesn't want to be neglected.

Lost Worlds

2011-01-04T22:37:00.000-08:00

This picture is taken from the Pompeii Temp Exhibit that dropped by Singapore for nearly half a year, yet i only got to attend it on New Years' Eve. I am a big fan of pompeii as a nation once, after learning about it in Geog, about the volcano exploding all over it and stuff like that yeah.
The body casts were emotional when you start to imagine yourself in their shoes ; it was just like any other day when suddenly pyroclastic flow blows pass you and the next moment you cannot breathe and then poof. And then thousands of years later, some humans dug you out of hell and your flesh starts to rot only then and the materials around you harden and you become officially an exhibit.

Anyway i had to share about something i like before i share about something i don't.
Never occured to me that i have been having nightmares now and then , about the same thing - post-apocalypse & zombies. I am not actually afraid of these when watching dramas about it.,but in my dreams i was one of the survivors and that is when you will freak out. Half the time i woke up glad to be lying on my bed ; zombies no where to be seen. It has actually kind'a starting to bother me already..
Hopefully by sharing my burden with you readers, can help me ease my fright? haha..
Hmm, last night's 'version' was really.... it started out from no where ( like how Inception taught us) zombies were everywhere. I was with a group of survivors in an office-like setting. We suddenly travel through books and tunnels (?) to a temple (that looked like the one i went to in Bangkok) to read an incription about how to reverse apocalypse. After 'adventure' involving some flesh-eating bull dogs eating a man alive right infront of my face, we realise that we misread the incription. Actually it meant that there isnt any way out, every single homosapien has to die, THEN I WOKE UP thinking ' holy shit.' Scared the shit out of me. Death have no place on my mind right now and i guess that natural for my age ?!

So, i forgo finding anymore zombie-related shows to watch, and found a chinese film this morning. I don't even think that i should talk about it. It relates to me so well, and it made me feel so so so much better about myself. But there is also this fear in me, the fear of not being able to accept myself for who I am. I don't think there is anything wrong with me, it is just..that.. in this unacceptive human race, i may get left behind for being the true me. I have so many feelings i just want to explode here but this space is too small. Then again, a film is after all a film, there may be similarities in real life but in a film, the story plot is all directed, the main characters will get what they want at the end, but i don't think i'd ever ..

Anyway, erm, what's with my sudden....emotions and all..
I guess , it just made me realised alot of things about myself.
I am not gonna mention about the film anymore, cause i am going to direct my own life-story.

The Last Days

2010-12-31T00:31:00.000-08:00

One more picture from xpharm. Honestly miss this camp loads.

I'm only posting one photo from bangkok.
Since im am feeling so so much better , i should update this little space with my bangkok trip

Actually that place was not bad at all. Everything was at a low low cost. My family travelled around by cab everywhere, anywhere. Cab fares are super cheap. Food wise, at food courts you have to buy coupons to buy food, very fun-fair style, but i really liked the idea, cause it is very clean as the cooks would not have to handle the dirty notes. Singapore should totally adopt that.

Shopping wise is really an eyeopener for me, people moving about with luggages around the wholesale mall, buying loads to apparels, some even snatching a good deal. However pity i didnt really got attract to much clothings. Dreamworld on the other hand was fun ( to me), cause im a total rollercoaster person. Although the 4D shows and some rides was lame, but to tell you the truth, this is the first time i manage to come to an amusement park with my parents. Back when i went DisneySea, it was with the school.

On a side note, our hotel was fantastic, 4 stars with internet and rooftop swimming pool and rooftop gym. Shiok buffet breakfast and of course many pillows on the super bouncy bed. Near 7-11 so instant thai fried rice is like the norm supper for the 4 days. Have to admit, i must have gained hell loads of weight there, but i guess most went back into the toilet bowl the past few days, so shouldn't be a worrying problem.

Anyway, it seemed like its past midnight already so yeah right now is the 31/12/2010
The last day of 2010.
2010 to me, was tough, mainly because of school and the new environment and people. Adjusting was never easy for me. 2010 was a struggle to keep my friends near me as they crept off quietly one by one; and also to balance out family issues and schoolwork which already tore me down most of the time. However , i feel right now, my heart have grown this sturdy wall made of concrete around it. Im ready for what in, next year (not mentioning tomorrow or something...).
I am going to just block off any issues that plays with emotions and all cause that's what the winners do all the time ( at least in dramas).

But 2010, allowed me to feel humanity again, know more people around me , which in the first place wasn't that bad an idea. But i would pretty much prefer the old friends back.
Hope you guys will spend the last day away from schoolwork for a little bit of while ,with your family , like how i am going to.

Last picture of the year . ( Me picking up giant soap)
Yeah, you may laugh all you wish

Meep

2010-12-17T21:30:00.000-08:00

Before i begin , sorry for neglecting you for 13 days.

Guaifenesin (pronounced /ɡwaɪˈfɛnɨsɪn/) (INN) or guaiphenesin (former BAN), also glyceryl guaiacolate, is an expectorant drug sold over the counter and usually taken by mouth to assist the bringing up (expectoration) of phlegm from the airways in acute respiratory tract infections.

That my group name for Xpharm 2010.
Honestly, this is the first time i actually enjoyed a camp.
Don't ever mention back orientation this year, bad memories, no offence though.

Anyways , i found my motivation to get into nus. :)
Because i realised that i want it so badly.
But setting all that academic stuff aside, im travelling next week again.
This time i heading to Bangkok.
Ironically, i am so packed up with events classified as 'others', i am trying to squeeze any time to actually study for next year.

Unpacking and packing then unpack then pack again is honestly not fun at all ..
I think after this trip, ill be so sick of travelling.
Butbut, i still want to return to japan , then head to korea and china and India next year. :)

Okay, quit dreaming.
December feels so weird for me, maybe because i lose too much this holidays, im taking too slow to mend myself up. So most of the time either im zoning out or attempting to study till 3am. However odviously, cambodia and xpharm makes me super happy so yeah erm, the mixture of feelings.

Then again, with my family ill never be alone although i know deep inside i'm still a loner.
But im now a family person that used to hate my family so much. Scary ain't I.

Anyway, hadn't touched the D40 after gradnight, speaking of which i havent finsih uploading the cambodia photos! T.T urgh i should really cry now.

Anyway, let me just so pack up my stuff so that i can study for 2 more days and back by christmas and poof to die with my photog members while doing preparation for both open house and exhibition.

i met an angel even before christmas

Kampuchea

2010-12-04T23:57:00.000-08:00

Hi humans and aliens dominating Earth,
I'm back from the Kingdom of Cambodia, actually 3 days ago.

Still suffering alittle bit of jetlag and difference in culture, now im adapting back to be a Singaporean.
I don't think ill post so much here, just don't want to lose any more readers, not like anyone actually bothers to read my crap.
But anyway, im still rushing to finish uploading all my pictures on facebook. Afterwhich ill share some here on my blog, not to worry.

Just try to recap the overall experience for me. Okay for this trip, i tried many things i have never done before. Being a well-equipped child living in concrete jungle my whole life, some things such as brushing teeth in the outdoors or even not bathing for 2 days actually leave deep impression on me. To think back, it was rather hilarious. Anyway, i still didn't mange to break my own wall down. Ended up i got sick (again) on the 2nd day of trip, causing myself to rest on the 3rd day, which was the most important day of the trip, the whole teaching thing. I know i will miss out alot, but i better know that if i didnt rest that day, the subsequent days ill be a living corpse.
Luckily for me, i was so much better the next day (after spammage of panadol flu max); that i get to interact with the vilagers one last time before living back to the town. I feel so satisfied with myself, actually playing with the kids there, even trying to make them smile with my own foolishness. I feelso proud of myself, haha ego. Althought i felt that i could do much more, but ill take this as a stepping stone cause i told myself that i'll return there after saving some money and further help out that country. I have really grew to fond cambodia, especially the warmness of the villages.

Some people often think cambodia = villages, but they do have a town that is flooded with nice resorts, hotels, restaurants, the food there are so so so good.
Buffets after buffets, pampering here and there. Chanel , LV, wi-fi , computers, handphone.
they are pretty much like malaysia. Pity we didnt get to walk around the town that much, mostly we are travelling in and out of town to visit villages and primary schools instead.

Alright, before i start boring you guys out, ill stop here.
Ill mention more of the details and what i feel when i post so photos up as well.
There is just so many new experiences, so many new values, new stories, new lessons to be shared with everybody, i actually do not know which episode to start from.

For now, Good Night people,
ill play ' A little love' to sleep now, this show how much i miss that place.
Gosh, i must be mad.

Flying without wings

2010-11-26T08:53:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not updateing this portal for a few days, busy preparing for my trip ~

I'm going off in a few hours time, meanwhile trying to harvest some of my farmville animals and crops. Have to rely on my mother to help me run the farm in my absence :(

My hope for the trip is not to get into any form of trouble, be less clumsy and hopefully in addition, to take away some lessons from the cambodians and be able to spread these values to the people around me.

Have fun in my absence humans; don't miss me too much eh?
Haha ( i feel so light-hearted now )

Rather give you the world

2010-11-21T05:56:00.000-08:00

Made a short trip out today amidst trying to finish 2 weeks worth of homeworks that may be neglected throughout my hective 6 days trip to cambodia
To get some necessities for the trip itself, like a pair of new shoes ( not really for the trip..), just excuses , okay ashamed.

I take back about saying i regretted signing up for the trip cause im actually already feeling the jitters already. I constantly reminded myself the reason why i signed up for the trip, so, guess it worked afterall.

Anyone feeling the christmas season? i'm still finding mine
I know I wont be the first one,
givin you all this attention.

My planet venus came by

2010-11-19T13:38:00.000-08:00

Today oddly i feel more alone than ever.

Not that im usually an extrovert or something.
I dont understand the exceptionally exceeding numbers of cold shoulders i have been receiveing lately. I tried to recall any wrong doings, but i dont remember offending anybody at all. In fact i thought i haven been more friendly there and then.
You know, im really okay if people do not treasure me , as in.. i dont know how to explain but
i really dislike cold shoulders,honestly.
Firstly it pisses me off because i dont understand why , secondly , it makes me feel lousy about myself. As im posting now, i see those images again, piecing them together.
Oh then i realise, i get it, im just a substitute.
They all treat me as a substitute. But wait, i thought i told myself im used to all these substituting thing already? Maybe im not yet. Do i honestly look like a tool?

Sick of being neglected, sick of being thrown around, sick of being mr nice all the time.
After school holidays started, i lost my motivation completely, im still doing my work there and then apart from the busy ocip schedule, but i feel so lousy all the time.

This is affecting me more than usual , with a frustrated mind, i really cannot take any good photos. Just like yesterday, all the pictures during the ocip meeting were so dark , i couldnt use flash, i set the brightest possible still i cant capture anything, i got really really frustrated i deleted all of them.

Yesterday i reached raffles half and hour before gathering time, when by the quay to take some shots , the rest are in the museum itself.

ohh thank got its friday, wait, there is ocip meeting tomorrow.
Ill attend it, but im going to deflec all the negative rays away.
Ill stay strong, urgh, this is so not me having to rant all these.

Now playing Envy on the coast -tell them that she`s not scared

Childhood

2010-11-17T22:23:00.000-08:00

Wizard Combo and a toy wand.

Its not just a movie, or a book.
It's something that have grown up with me.
My primary school - secondary school weren't that memorable you know.

Even so now, i feel that living a fantasy is so much better

Rmb those days?

2010-11-15T10:35:00.000-08:00

我愛台妹

2010-11-13T22:52:00.000-08:00

Jasmine tan , the new big boss

我愛台妹
我愛台妹
我愛台妹

Ill just let the pictures do the talking.
Tiring yet fruitful day
Taught claire a few tips for night photography.
lastly 我愛台妹我愛台妹我愛台妹
and 我愛night photography

and it started drizzling

I got a feeling..

2010-11-12T21:19:00.000-08:00

Today, i spent my afternoon in town, just around orchard central and 313 for i don;t know whta reason. Maybe im addicted to pampering myself by going out very much more often this week.
I know i shouldn't do that so often, but fuckyeah holidays are here !

Okay on second thought, maybe, cause im kinda thinking of that pile of undone homework waiting for me earnestly.

Anyway, forgotten to mention a little about a class bbq held yesterday.
WILD, once in awhile , its okay la huh.
We only get to be young once.
and i only get to be siao once.
Actually everything was hilarious.
I hadn't been so crazy since... i don't even know actually.
Time pass when we are having fun.
Fun comes, but don't expect her to linger around. She'll have to go, or else you will get too comfortable with life, you might lose yourself on the way to keep her around.

Enjoy some of the shots
Gallery of glass EVIAN water.

What is it like to have no identity at all?

Life's a standstill

2010-11-06T14:28:00.000-07:00

SNSDSNSD
haha, taken with a diy lens hood with a heart shape
Fail attempt of Bokeh :(

Lucy gray

2010-11-03T19:40:00.000-07:00

I'll hold your tears as a ransom
Within the palm of my hand
And tell you once again,
Don't tell me that you're scared

Wake, wake, wake her
From this sea of white linens and
Extract the drugs from her dreams
And sew her seams with delicateness
'Cause beneath her chest sits the heart that I live for,
You'd kill for,
The angels would die for
And with a subtle wink and a flutter of wings
They whispered,
They whispered

Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers
Wake the angels
Tell them that she's not scared
She won't be taking the next flight out of here

'But thats what is keeping me strong

Halloween

2010-10-30T22:34:00.000-07:00

Familiar? I bet it was long forgotten..

That's right the fountain of wealth... or not , i don't really understand.
But anyways, inspiration struck me and i set aside some precious time to photo shoot there.
and also have a sisters' night out... conveniently.
This fountain wasn't that accessible anyway ...
So i spent most of the time traveling instead.

Newly opened Hershey's Chocolate World in cityhall itself, so no need to go jealous over the one in Universal studios.

Im so tired and well, still hadn't' set my mind on doing ANYTHING productive other than thinking of watches and clothes and more clother and cameras.

Actually i think im taking note more of scenery lately ..hmmm but why?

Flyyyyy

2010-10-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

I remember clearly this picture was taken at an italian the restaurant at clarke quay at around 5pm in the evening after i finished my photoshooting with hillary. It was rather distinct as this guy actually gave this bunch of balloons to a little girl and she was super happy. I was so busy looking at her reaction, i forgotten to take a photo of it :(

Oh well , shit happens anyway , all the time.
Now that the wait is over and i finallt receive my report slip, i think i should do some soul-searching already but well , not after this post .
This few days been busy with both op and a leadership public speaking course thing.
I know every week we have op rehearsals there and then but still, i take them all really serious.
I also finished memorising my script but miss xu says im too tense and need to be more natural , which is... kind'a hard.

Actually i feel like sleeping already....
I need to update my photos cause im running out of them to blog.
But i have no inspirations.
Currently texting tuan he for photoshooting location with claire.
But zero zero zero

I need a plan to execute soon

i wonder if you like sky photography..

Hey Bean

2010-10-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

The pig in me that craved for Koi since last week is finally statisfied.
Im waiting for the day ill officially get sick of it so i wont squander my money all away through buying koi nonstop, but it seem to take forever to come.

I feel so lethargic especially today that i slept during geograpy after watching dante peak right infront of the teacher, which i still feel kinda guilty for.
My eyes were like aching and my eyelids felt so heavy. Must be due to the dream i had about 2NE1.
Aww shucks i miss them already, comeback soon please?
After their promotion for toanyone album i think i'll just die or die.

I need a day out , im thrashed with so much crap this week seriously, public speaking course? What is the point already, i mean im going to like step down soon next year so what's the point?
I dont even have time for OP so that showsthat ending lessons at 1pm daily no longer is useful at all .
School is starting to take a toll on me even if it seems like a slackkish term.

:( the desire is mounting.

Soorrrrrryyyyy?

2010-10-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

My goals are blurring already, i need help, i need plans

It wasn't an excuse, i really forgotten.
Sorry
Forgive?
If you dont, ill start swaying my hands around to dance sorry sorry for you

Even if i stay longer, will the gates open?

Blues

2010-10-24T17:52:00.000-07:00

Could somebody show me the affection you only see in the movies?
i wonder what’s wrong with me, man how much i hate about being neglect, i could sense it quite sometime ago, i guess maybe i’m too uncool for anyone. oh well, its better this way, maybe.

Mini TicTacs , rare in Singapore okay
Shan't give myself away.
School is starting altogether again.

I know how is it like to love someone you should never so much.

Jeremy Scott

2010-10-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

I dont know why i feel like beginning my day with a blog post, usually as you can spot the trend, i only blog at night cause thats usually the time where i start self-reflecting almost every other day. Maybe, its because i did not blog anything yesterday and im using older photos in evey post now.

Yesterday i went to take a look at the adidas watch i really can die for again at iluma.
It get nicer each time i look at it =(
I want to buy it cause i cost $140 which is kinda affordable for me, but to think i have to spent more money even before im going to cambodia kinda turns me off.
And you wont want to know why i want to buy the watch for myself that badly.

Hope it wont like go out of season or something that soon or ill just cry.
Funny, how my mind can get.

Should have known that friday's 'workshops' were llike hell, but anyway, i still decided to come to school because....
i also dont know why.

its really funny where you know that there is 0.01% chance, you still use that 0.01% to make yourself stronger. Humans are odd , I am odd.
Should I known, i would have taken a longer longer longer longest look at your face.

Your name here

2010-10-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

Sitting in my room, with all the lights off, the television screaming, my company is gone.
I feel weak and tired tonight.
My all is none but i feel undone.
Staring at my notes, every single night wasted here alone.
Maybe i'm tired of waking up feeling there’s nothing worth fighting for, nowhere to go..
Is there someone out there?
I dont know know what i could ask for.
Maybe now that i have found the truth,
This is where my discomfort wont disappear.

Birthdays are just,.

2010-10-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

For that moment when you mentioned aabout it again, i froze.
But tried to keep as calm as i can.
My face started to twitch and i wanted to smile.
I ended up writing everydown to act like i didnt hear anything at all.
Actually i wanted to tell you, how much it meant to me.
But i didnt cause, maybe to me, thats the only way to keep you here.
So that i can see around when i like .

So you might be wondering how my birthday went.
Come'on its a school day, what do you expect of me?
Anyway i cant wait to go cambodia yaaw.

I realise as i get older,birthdays are nothing much.
It is just a day to remind you to do some self-reflecting and of course remind me of my age.
And maybe a dinner or 2 with a few loves.

Thats all

The cake i had in school , and coffee facial cream smeared
Thanks bach and bartok for this bat.

I like this cake pose, haha

Samantha can trip over flat floor

2010-10-17T22:11:00.000-07:00

Here to thanks my photog mates for yeah for erm the birthday surprise i guess?
Im super duper grateful .
AND we just cant stop laughing at samatha , the mother cause she can trip over flat ground.
HAHAHA , bullying her is fun and the claypot rice is awesome.

The sky today was damn red at marina, feels like pre-apocalypse ..
Ohhh noooo, i kinda started missing you already

Final product of the day

TamTam the second

2010-10-16T23:23:00.000-07:00

I got a wonderful handmade, filled with LOVE tam tam for my birthday from tth and claire.
and i really love it lots kk,cause yeah im a person who appreciates any thing, like really ANYTHING. and i hardly throw things away, thats why my room is always flooded with stuff.

Anyway the point is that 2 human spent their saturday night with me, touched me much.
All the cheesy stuff i've already texted to them because im really really gratefulto have their time for me tonight.

So much for friendship huh? We are more like a family now.

Sun with Moon is really awesome, though the price might kill.

I hate crowded places cause everytime, ill fascinate seeing you somewhere in the crowd.

I love today I love you even more

2010-10-15T21:45:00.000-07:00

When life becomes a bitch, how can you be sure that what you see is real?
All that used to be right, becomes blurry and messy.
Maybe i wished that i can turn back into those times , but then again i really no longer see the point.

The point is that i realise, i do not need any more dreams to get to feel your touch because, just admit it, maybe fate brought us even closer to one another.
For a reason? Maybe?
The reason; I have yet to find out

A tour at haji lane again, because 2 depressed souls come together and wanted to try seesha

However long the night, the dawn will break

2010-10-14T17:35:00.000-07:00

Playing Light

2010-10-13T20:38:00.000-07:00

I won't ask for anything in return . I got worried over nothing today since morning all the way till afternoon, how can you not be there when you should? Are you ill?
So any questions, where do i get answers

Today , i felt useless again, because some of my club members knew somethings that i thought i should protect them from. then... some felt unhappy and well , these are all beyond my means.
How fair is fair?

I'll really try my all to conduct lessons even if it maybe seem crappy.
Hey, but i dont believe the word ' impossible' .

It is such a beauty.
Sky is always full of wonders i kept an album to worship it.

I'll write a poem for you

2010-10-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

School is being odd, like homeworks are starting to pour in already.
But no one is surprised, october was never a good month for 16 years of my life anyway.

Maybe its the law of attraction?
I dont know , but it seemed like im seeing you more often than usual these few days, which is weird. Anyways, you'll see, a person always looking out for you , supporting ; unconditionally.

I know a girl who shares a name with a guardian , she was a saint, she was a saint ..

The truth can never be told

2010-10-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

i was so harsh, i was so rush
I did it and i could'nt control it.
I hope you will never know the truth.
May i apologise?

Forget who?

2010-10-10T22:11:00.000-07:00

I would love to forget everything.
I may dream of the impossibilities..
but that may mean that i'll lose what has been keeping me slightly more alive.
This is how serious, things got.. and i seriously cannot do anything about it

Today lady luck strike me, i managed to take this sunset at jurong east at high shutter speed, cause i was in the car and i found 10 bucks on the ground and mr tan gave me a free TYS.
How often so you find cash on the ground?

Today is also my grandfathers' birthday , we got together after months i can say, thanks to my exams, though not everyone was here , its the first time i felt a warm feeling since a very long time ..

To sir with love

2010-10-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

is the sky hurt ? like how i am ?

i wonder why there is a patch of blur in this self portrait, FML.

well , i decided to update with more words.
Hell yeah im so bothered, i need to express it all out here.

Actually , i have been stucked at the previous line for hours , i really dont know at all what to say at all, is it because im speechless, even at myself? I cant even handle the truth about myself by myself? One thing is for sure, i dont know how i landed in this plight today , maybe even then. The thought, the feelings the emotions manifested for almost half the year i didnt even see them all coming suddenly.

I must be mad ,trully mad.

Like i said, i need something to distract me away from all these mess i created unknowingly.
I need to find something else to look at other than that pretty face.
I need something to numb the pain from thinking that reality can just push us further
I need something to make myself repeat the same scene in the dream over and over again.
I need something to fill up the emptiness i feel every morning i wake up alone.
I need something to make me forget my every memory of you.

No , no , this is not right at all, its impossible.
Its childish , its sick , its mad.

I pity myself more than ever today.
Loa ain't gonna help me for this .
cause your love's a misery..

Bucks at vic's street

2010-10-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

Bucks at vic's street with claire.
Hope everything will go well for both of us.

AGC2010

2010-10-05T21:53:00.000-07:00

All Girls' Camp 2010

What do you call this...er motion/sport/people/event photography?
ANYWAY
Okay so this 2 days i wasn't slacking alright ! Photog duty was fun and crazily tiring..
Cause i have so much improvements do and the d50 is freaking heavy thanks to the 240mm lens.
FML huh.

Anws motion photog is not really my thing, its tough i have to admit and people just kept moving around. i know that's the point, then again..

So here are some of the photos i like better though none are fantastic.
the rest are of course on facebook.
Just when i wanted to open a flickr account, Facebook came up with a high resolution option which took 2hours for most photos to be up but well, considerably good and worth using.

e

special mention : audrey

Some key guest of the while camp thing.
Composition we call them .

So what , Promos?

2010-10-05T19:10:00.000-07:00

When your future seem so bleak , as the light coming from the end of the tunnel is getting dimmer each day
what will you start to think of?
To quit, to back out, to end everything.

You start being really paranoid and pin point at every mistake you made,though knowing that it doesn't make a difference anymore. Your really want to turn back time but then realised you are being naive yourself. Maybe you will wonder why people don't like being around you?

Then you dreamt of a saint that asked you to stop self-pitying.
She appeared in my dreams for 2 consecutive dreams, the touch felt so real its almost insane.

I toured the IR and felt really at peace , what's better then walking i kilometers around marina, free from school, free from parents and free from cheap whores on their mission to conquer Singapore?

Titleless

2010-09-29T14:54:00.000-07:00

LEECHAERIN

2010-09-28T17:57:00.000-07:00

OVER

2010-09-11T18:30:00.000-07:00

Those days might be about to end.

I think i have a crush on 2NE1's leader.
=) cant wait for their album in my hands.
just like..
those days

Clarke Quay night life

2010-09-10T23:40:00.000-07:00

Crap that's all i got.

Be strong!

2010-09-06T21:55:00.000-07:00

Stay Strong , Press On.
But keep your bad temper to yourself Nicole.

HOLYDAYS

2010-09-06T20:25:00.000-07:00

Shot this in PRGM mode with flash and zoomed 240mm without Macro lens.
Didnt have the patient to wait till it turns around and just wanted to show that dragonfly have a gross texture.

Oh holidays starts today , i have a week to mug .
Today i went back to school for 2 lessons, at the end of the day, i think got a few things went into my brain..

1) Gandhi is a noun in a dictionary and definitely have no synonym
2) Centromere is actually a sequence not a useless ball; chromatin with ATCGs.
3) Kinetochore is actually a protein
4) Genetically identical is a very important key phrase

FML, everything just sucks.
I hope you guys had a better day than i did, other than wasting my whole afternoon away.
Was rushing PW just now, i think tonight, ill just play Kick n Rush my day away

Since tomorrow there is no longer any Project Work and there is GP..
I think , ill skip school and mug out .
I need a life!

Singapore Yong Photographers' Convention

2010-09-04T21:15:00.000-07:00

I'm back from sypc not long ago.
AWESOME stuff, i wish one day. JJ photogragphy will get to host such prestigious event.
Syahirah won something representing our school~~

As disappointed as i would be , i realise i still lots and lots of practise and brushing up of my skills. But one good thing is meeting 2 guys Joel and Shrijit . Shrijit is a guy with nice handwriting :(
Im so embarrassed of my handwriting you know and Joel is pressurize as he is the youngest of our group. HAHA, so cute right.

Our theme was Geometry. So crazy right? it can be anything but i kinda hate is that the award winning pieces have all to do with architecture , that is really shallow interpretation nit seemed like the judges really liked it alot alot . Oh well , some pictures where nice, i have to admit that.

So , for memory sake, this is my representing piece and some other random shots, enjoy ..

The rest , ill upload it, individually.

Competition Day

2010-09-03T20:32:00.000-07:00

I am starting to feel the jitters already.
Okay i have to admit, im taking this competition abit more serious than i should, i forking out more time than i should on this already.
So why not give my utmost best right?

Study break is here. before i start mugging the whole week away , ill enjoy my weekends and come up with a perfect ace study pie chart .
WOOOOOOOOOHOOO
I suddenly feel so motivated!

Miss yeo words still haunts me this day.
Walk through this dark tunnel ,eventually, nearing the end, you'll see that light.
That small beam of light. The one you've been wanting to look at.

Nothing will bring me down, stay strong heart!

Holiday ? Study break

2010-08-30T22:35:00.000-07:00

8 days since my last post! Apologies.

Amidst looking forward to September holidays, SPA drove my mad. (no more SPA till next year)
Im so drained this week , thanks to a second round of diarhhoea break out, im not attending school tomorrow. Anyway i dont see a point, miss claudia lee already left for NIE, that meant our video is almost useless :(
Its just so upsetting.

Maybe i should not make it anymore a habit to blog often , Promos are nearing ,counting down, which sucks . Feels a LITTLE like O then? I guess.

I should lock myself in Starbucks and drown in coffee to mug with the rest of the world whom are also suffering the same fate as i am. I realise till then, i cant do anything productive at home. Bed, laptop , many much more seductive things all around me.

Did i mention im upset that YOG had to end that early?
Other that it spicing up many controversy.
, I mean it has to end in one way or another but right now i miss spending my weekends watching any random match at the stadium or on tv, you know lar , what can you ever get nice on Singapore Television channels other that Rui en huh ! :)She's a steal

URGH,maybe i should start planning some to-dos for september, before i face the truth that september is just an examination month. More photoshooting, duh!

I feel like getting a random black skinnies and rip them apart, whats with tattered clothing nowadays? Just a little artsy.
Woah am i crapping ? I kept thinking i have alot to rant today, i guess not , the only think im thinking about is sleep , sleep and a way to make it up to a particular someone ; a victim of my ruthlessness...

Team Singapore VolleyBall

2010-08-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

YOG torch; sad that eveything is going to end soon.

Just now, i went to watch volleyball prelimary , Singapore vs Japan and Russia vs Serbia.
Mr. Coach refuse to sub player 16 , claire's sister in, but to see her even there is just so great.
I surely understand how claire feels. Overall disappointing match due to stubborn coach . I was really rooting for Singapore .

Fight was good but guys do play so roughly, People are just flying everywhere.
So scary, balls are flying to the audience and judges too, what the hell right .
How i wish i could nick a yellowpurple molton volleyball home :)
Russian guys are so bloody tall.

Anyway , after two matches, made our way to see the YOG torch, stole a few shots before getting chased out by the guards there, HAHA.
Enjoy some better pictures, the rest on facebook as usual

Claire's sister

I realised even blogger compress my pictures into sucky quality
I did post the 10.1 mp pictures , but oh well ...

Ages

2010-08-20T23:19:00.000-07:00

If i were to grow a pair of wings, i would have flown to mounteverest now.

Enjoythe pictures taken during Youth Olympics Games opening ceremony rehearsal.
What an experience as well .
Pardon me for the mosaic quality as im lazy to upload from the memory card so i copied all pictures from facebook.
Promise to upload better quality pictures next time okay.

My sister's drumming part,did anyone remember her performance?

The rest of the pictures sucked, half the roll was out of focus as i was constantly moving about and was on manual focus mode :(
Nevermind! Learning from mistakes...

These past week was so busy , i dont think i even blogged about national day right?
Let me see if i still recall. .
Okay tiring day at the Padang, the rest was boring since i watched the performance 3times
Being part of the NDP crew allowed me to learn alot of things such as behind the scenes and gave me another perspective of the scary real world.
Needless of elaborate, just know that thing are not always as simple as they seem.

Looking on the positive side, fireworks was fired above my heads for the first time.
Its was exuberating and everyone just went high on fireworks.
More Fireworks shots soon okay?

Another than that,
School was ..crazy
A week past like super fast and well its weekends again.
Hope that time would just stop so I can catch up with life.
and of course... sleep :)

2010-08-20T09:02:00.000-07:00

i want to see you for another day

2010-08-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

it was great

2010-08-06T23:58:00.000-07:00

This is my very own emo chibi with warpaint
Big head small body , first time learning how to draw during civics lesson is crazy.
First odd time, That was all i remembered this week.

Felt like an idiot all night smiling at myself cause i feel good.
I feel fine, I feel happy , I feel strange , I feel abnormal , I feel i can do more for you.
actually i didnt matter anyway..
i dont think you will ever get the hint

NDP preview II

2010-07-31T23:06:00.000-07:00

Lesson to learn : do not boss students around

TGIF

2010-07-30T23:09:00.000-07:00

i vandalized my window
finally found a chalk marker.
so i can write in the dark

Its weekends , i can finally sleep
Irony is that, im suddenly not sleepy..

SeaVees

2010-07-29T21:04:00.000-07:00

okay i invested in a pair of SeaVees over a pair of Vans as i know only one place selling this in Singapore. But i shant disclose. :)

try to say the brand fast a few times.
Haha stop swearing.
kk bye , off to do Eom

2010-07-23T20:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday and today i overran the chinese riddle comeptition photg duty.
A few others where on duty as well.
Its was really fun in the sense i get to practise taking close up with 240mm zoom lens.
and practise more on the tripod.

I decided to reupload on my blog although all of them are on facebook
I posted these pictures which are based on expressions.
i think close up pictures are really Awesome,
Enjoy

I have no idea this guy spotted me.

And.... i shall end off my post with Janise's unfocused so damn damn natural epic face.

Its really a pity cause i forgotten to turn off manual zoom mode.

Or i could have a more epic face.

ITS FRYDAY

TGIFT

2010-07-22T22:49:00.000-07:00

You cant imagine how shagged i have been this week.

Thank God Its Friday Tomorrow.

Got back my progress report one.

Was only depressed for 5 hours . Decided to continue to stay motivated .

Will show you a PR full of As end of this year.

Make my Words.

2010-07-17T19:07:00.000-07:00

Maybe i should learn karate or something .

2010-07-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

This week , i see slaves of god wondering around doing nothing but wasting life.
I met the most ridiculous whores who were supposedly under me but i have only met them after 6 months past. I know people who can no fail irritated the shit out of my ass.
I threw tantrums at my kins and i messed up my grades; where are my As?

Pretending to be a good leader is tiring. Week3.10 please come now and cca shall be suspended.
my commitee members are my gold

2010-07-09T23:44:00.000-07:00

wtfbbq.
love it enjoyed it .

Good times never last do they?

Start of a new week

2010-07-05T20:23:00.000-07:00

Im grateful for the extra holiday today , i bet this week is going to go awesomely fast and tiring.
Wonder ever why weekends isnt 3 days?! 3 days to me is actually not too much, not too little... but apparently yeah.

Im so happy for our project work cause our progress is actually very good, started on our prototype already and survey is almost to a rest. I cant wait fer it to be over .

Morning sun , morning face morning hair . Today is Messy Morning.
Aren't i happy you are back?

I dont know why i did this, but i just did this sluty pose.
Yesterday i went to a island of cheap whores .
scare the wits out of me.

Life is brutal

2010-07-04T00:17:00.000-07:00

Yeah totally feeling how this person is feeling.
The world is getting it, argentina got thrashed and im plus chop disappointed
URGH, spen too much time supporting them, now feeling more sad than england going home.
Yea sure, they WERE good .

And tevez is really action.
Haha , stole this from yahoo.

Screenshot this, i would have really done this if argentina gets into finals
but... oh well..

im was happily supporting with my new jersey with alien face
URGH, mix feelings now.
Maybe, this really meant that its time to get back into schoolwork and impending project work deadline.
Life is so so so darn brutal , sometimes its just overboard.

Drawbacks

2010-07-02T23:05:00.000-07:00

Im still feeling the drawbacks from the june study break.
Im still pissed i didnt get to play hard. Im feeling already exhausted though school only started on wednesday.
Tired due to lack of sleep .. still, which i kinda dont get why and of course still sick with football fever.
That's it, this youth day holiday im going to play and pamper myslef as much as i can . After this nothing much to look forward to only deadlines and more deadlines. Project Work written report and Eom first draft to be handled in next week.
What the fish head.

And i cut my fringe again . This time it was pretty funny cause i told the guy just trim and layer so it can be a little more messier . He took about one hour just to cut . Perfectionist or what? Interesting , he was really careful trimming a little by little, i almost stoned to death on my ass waiting to proceed to get my gym shoes . To no avail again,cannot decide . Decision making problem again .

Tomorrow is Urgent and important day everyone should know about. Quaterfinals : GERmany VS Argentina .
Must watch dudes , its argentina baby ~

screw life

Sleep-deficient

2010-07-01T15:53:00.000-07:00

I need to adjust back my body clock and sleep more this week

Team England

2010-06-28T18:17:00.000-07:00

Im just so happy my exam is all over today , when school just started we just ended papers.
-.- Tomorrow is playday.
Have to repair my dumb blackberry first of course.

So im so sad , but i have to say goodbye to team england.
Everyone knows what happen so i will not re-illiterate the very exciting match.
Lucky i have not invested in the england fifa offical mechandise.

Guess what i actually found my england bag bought 4 years ago prior to world cup :

Here's a snapshot of it , brings back memmories though, erm let me see i only recalled my mother buying it for me for dont know what ass reason , maybe i was whining.
This year i dont see it though , pity . Went converse only to see a chio germany windbreaker.
=/ No argentina.

I am currently Sleep-deficient , need to pack all my notes up and keep as well as catching up on my sleep . Hell , right now im in a mess, hadnt been doing threading for a month and i need to cut my messy hair and towning.

Serious Mugging III

2010-06-26T20:34:00.000-07:00

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Today i mugged again.

I just had to do that but only fun thing was that claire came by after her frisbee training.

Went nike-shopping with her , she is just so thin every clothes fits her =)

NICE, and i spent money on a ashcreek wallet =(

i just had to , its a really vintage brown fold wallet.

After bio paper i have planned to get a fifa argentina shirt cause the adidas one was way too expensive 98$ can you believe it.

Before all these football fever, i really need to get my brains down to mug for the last paper .

Since yesterday i spent my night on portugal and brazil match.

ENG

2010-06-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

Look at wayne =]

EXAMS

2010-06-25T19:00:00.000-07:00

This is my signature Ginseng boiled with water. Secret Formula to energize my morning before exams. Somehow it lost its powers after i drank it for O levels..
I felt so sleepy today morning despite consuming chicken brains as well, i meant chicken essence
I bet it was because i couldnt really sleep well yesterday , stupid like hell , brain just didnt feel like shutting down.

Math paper was ridiculous, the ball question totally killed me at the last part. WTF?! seriously , bouncing balls also bother to count and prove. As for chemistry, i was trying to buy time, rush and rush . Wonder when will there be a paper where i do not need to rush through and do it PROPERLY.

Mother and Sister back from taiwan on wednesday and there goes peace and quiet.
=( Sigh and football parties at home by myself.
But at least my sister got me shoes, it as unexpected really.
But...sadly i hate pink...
Nevermind , better than nothing right

Footballll madness thanks to qianyu , psycho me to like argentina by pointing out england's flaws.
I haven't get my wages from parents , i need to get a soccer shirt !

I'm genie fer you girl..

Today was a good day

2010-06-21T23:58:00.000-07:00

This is the apple crumble we baked together . Tuan he's so called birthday cake. It was awesome, not very sweet .=)
I like not so sweet cakes .

What did the black cloud say to the white cloud when they met?

A: I'm going to cry

Today i went around haji to walk , visit the new record store. Oh my goodness, parkway drive , singapore band albums and many much more non- mainstream thrashcore music =D

how awesome, but i didnt buy any since i have all the songs i like already.

Im practical .

Got myself alice guitar picks as Ibanez is really too expensive 1.80$ a piece, CRAZY ,but its nice, Next time i'll get it. and a picks holder, awesome

Physically unright

2010-06-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day
Many people may take this day for granted but i certainly don't cause right now in my life, i have met 2 friends whom are raised up by their mothers and it is not something joyous about. One of which is currently still finding him. So, Hug your dads if you have not. =)

I attempt to pay the gym a visit today , since the whole day i was in my room watching li-ning open super series, exciting denmark match . The mix doubles , the guy was wearing a shirt ' i need a sponsor' cause apparently he didnt have one but played well.

Back to gym , i ran 8km/h for 20minutes and i almost died, usually i am still okay with this pace. 3weeks without running really can die, tomorrow i'll wake up to find myself having aches everywhere, im just so sure.

Today was unproductive cause i was tired the whole day, stupid body clock thing not working well. Tomorrow i shall go out and have a breather myself.

Think i may suffocate to death .

I finally got the wonderous wondergirls meet and greet pictures, thank you darrylow

So Hee, Yu Bin and Myself

Serious Mugging II

2010-06-19T23:51:00.000-07:00

Its another mugging day out today but this time im smart, no coffee, just normal signature hot chocolate with marshmallows.
The marshmallows melted before i have actually ate a few, odd.
But it was awesome , just plain hot and sweet.

I hardcored math today , function and functions and more functions like total HELL , but functions becomes kinda like fun for me ? I continue the few hundred Chemistry questions and almost fainted on my ass.

What should i seriously do tomorrow? No photoshooting locations in mind , no to- do - lists this study break . But i feel like doing something different tomorrow .
4 more days to first H2 CT.

I hate ranting about school work , but other than that, i really have nothing else to blog about.
Think your life sucks? Think again.

Libra - Sandwiched between ideals and reality, you aspire to become more impetuous and selfish, but due to the concern for your friends and environment, you choose to be more realistic, thus maing you feel both mentally and physically exhausted. Maake your stand or face losing your passion for life ,try to articulate your real feelings and thoughts.

Very Very true i can say , real feelings? its hard , but true enough i have lost my passion for life and became a very realistic person already.

Ikea is being pointless

2010-06-18T23:56:00.000-07:00

After much resting, meet up with pw mates to conduct second round of survey in ikea itself.
Found out some interesting things though.
Ikea is being pointless to have the ' no plastic bags given' policy, but the fact is , they still sell plastic bags , big ones 0.10$ and small ones 0.05$ .
I meant, what is the point?! Okay, they do sell so many sizes and types of recycable bags but the price is obviously unattractive. Given me, i would rather just get a plastic bag for 0.05$ right?
This is getting harder than i expect, if other countries can live life without plastic bags, is it that hard in Singapore?

Anyway our objective is not to SAVE THE WORLD or anything like that so , well , keep one eye close then . It's funny how to security took like forever to chase us away, i collect about 12 data .
So not, never, looking forward to EOM and written report, total HELL.

Shit, how did i even start to rant about school work again? My pace of revision currently is moderate, not rushing, trying to absorb as much bio as possible as next week is purely reserved for math and chem . I'm on my nerves already, freaking out for obvious reasons but can't do anything about it other than distracting myself with the web.

Im so bored i bought a pink overgrip for my badminton racket just to get rid of the white one.

Wonderous

2010-06-17T23:51:00.000-07:00

Today was hectic. Just to meet WonderGirls ( a korean girl group ) i travelled from boon lay to plaza Sing and back again as tuan he 's birthday was tomorrow and we bake apple crumble together , ended up NICE, just upload the picture of it soon.

I miss these people :

That's about all, im tired of mugging.

World Cup Fever :)

Kangaroos

2010-06-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

I finished watching glee.
I have to admit, that's hell of a show , the whole inspiring thing didn't really work for me,
.... but made me realise i miss choral singing so so so much.
I just miss those time where i can sing just with a snap of a finger, full of confidence. not afraid of making mistakes like singing off tune. And the best part, the harmony , the blending of chords , ...perfect.

I swear i'm going to join back choir after college life. =(
Now , i regretted giving up.
SUCKTARDS, obviously as shown in glee, people in choir are always seen as losers , i don't understand why. Apparently it did'nt quite affected me for 9 years but till now , i simply cannot understand.

NAH, regretting is not going to help me.
Today i heard 4 times the word ' common test' and i nearly dropped dead. =( URGH.
Math is such an awesome subject ever since i started school but i can't help making stupid mistakes there and then.

The house is so quiet , me in my room , just that.. my head kind of hurt and now that my sister is not around , i can finally sleep peacefully at night eh?
Bet she'll snatch my kangaroo when she gets back, its STRANGE that my sister and I just share the same interest in non-humans like kangaroos and dolphins
:S

Thanks qwertyphuahzhiyi for getting me this from Perth =)

Here is my new baby, like they all say a women cannot only have a pair of shoes
Sexy bitch

Panic Disorder

2010-06-15T12:15:00.000-07:00

Is anyone feeling the heat?

Cause i definetly get the idea it's only me getting freaked out for the upcoming exams.

Yes, it's normal it's normal .. IT'S NOT NORMAL
i must understand that this time it's important for me to hit my target to get 70+ ranking points.
Im not ashame to say that i was far behind it in semester one, thats exactly what i want now.

Since it's building up in me, i just could not sleep now. Have this tendency to fret over nothing, trying to memorise the definition of relative formula mass in the middle of sleeping. Thinking about reciprocal graphs and y^2 graphs and thinking about biology since i am dreading memorising all the aminoacids and shits. i don't think its about self-confidence , it's the pressure.

I should just sent myself to wcp to study again after lunch , im so lazy =(

keep my laptop away too, im just lack of SDiscipline no doubt.

I may be going mad soon & twitter is being sluty again.

URGH

Serious Mugging

2010-06-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

This is a crazily big cup of frappe, pity it taste awful.

On second thought , how can coffee taste literally AWFUL?

I don't really know how to describe but coffeebean seriously needs to do something to their coffee, it taste AWFUL.

I only go coffee for it's big tables , everyone know starbucks is famous for their small tables and as for me, im a person that hurl my papers and pens all over the table and usually knock down the grande i have on the table. Irritating.

So i just got back from the usual hideout, i just had to instead of staying at home cause there is just too much distraction and apparently my focus-span is damn short - one moment im into serious mugging, the next im jumping around my house ( not literally) and obviously my bed is super seductive and attractive.

But as to say, i hate public toilets , i really do. Those who are oblivion to the fact i don't usually answer nature's call even in school , NOW YOU KNOW.

NAH, im not that a clean freak, im just odd.

My head hurts and my mouth still taste of Not-very-nice dark chocolate coffee ice-blended from my dearest coffee bean =(

PS: i saw a pair of sexy fredperry shoes and its on GSS, should i get it =(

These are mad times

2010-06-12T22:38:00.001-07:00

I personally don't understand why i like flagday so much, it's confusing.

Flag Day itself is utterly boring and time just past so slow.
People stare ,people smoke and blow the fumes at your face before rolling eyes, as if my looks forced them to 'donate' some coins . That is well, what can i ever say?
Believe it or not is the usual trend. Orchard Road is actually a terrible place for collection cause well there are more snobbish people there than other parts of Singapore ( after being an expertise in flagday for so many years).

Its kind of like an irony to day places such as great world , chua chu kang etc is places where you can almost fill your tins up. However , i shall not be that bias, orchard is so much more fun. Security Guards were just making things fun, they kept making us 'walk around, dont stick to a place' . So , we were great listeners and walked AROUND , literally . I mean , we weren't trying to be funny or what, but apparently instruction were not that clear huh.

Anyway the heart collar pin is really darn cute, i donated to get one myself =)
So , erhm , here's a short summary of what 3 of us did during our routine. We went the HQ to get the cans , ate breakfast at J8 and some kids were looking at us, i mean we older people are humans !? We need breakfast to collect money douchebags. :) The whole staring thing nowadays really gets me fucking iritated. We travelled to orchard and stationed there for quite awhile after which we old people got tired again and ate lunch deep within ion.

Still no fried food so no taiwan food this time. It tasted healthy and abit home-made like.
Afterwhich we travelled to cityhall just to walk around and back to bishan earlier then expected and stone till the time arrives. Time really went so slowly, we walked from orchard to somerset and back again still left with hours, irony of all ironies!

Soon later, latic acid builds up and everybody got tired, trained back slowly from bishan fell asleep onboard next to the P seat =)

Fever

2010-06-07T19:18:00.000-07:00

Guess what , im sick...

AGAIN..

Throat infection ...

AGAIN..

Nothing surprising eh , you know one fine day im going to rip my pair of tonsils OUT.

Im like practically bedridden cause my head hurts though i kind of feel okay.

Well , not as bad as yesterday where i saw stars.

Im so bored , i want to study since i have nothing to do , but siting upright just is torturing.

I want to post pictures taken past few days but its in my thumdrive and im just too lazy to do it.

i really ain't looking forward to common test.

I m leaving

2010-06-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

How long have you last felt concern from others to yourself?
Small little things we often overlook i guess.

Finally it seemed that my load is gone. Geog paper is finally over and yea.
No harm wanting to play abit before mugging again right.
CCA Leadership Workshop was fair enough.
But actually, stress building inside me. Okay fine, when i was fighting for photog club , i realsie we do in fact lose out to many cca groups in terms of the inflexibility of out events. I realised then , almost every cca meeting, its just me talking to the board or myself. Teacher did felt sad for me i guess? haha im pathetic.
Anyway yea take this holiday , erm so called i guess to just take a break from photog.
See what ' brilliant' ideas i can come up with for photog to do.

So , yea , as planned. tomorrow is my escape day.
Maybe we are so reliant on the little gadgets we carry around with us , or the applications we can't live without ( you know what i mean , haha ). I dont know if maybe i can follow my rules.
Tomorrow is just me myself , unknown place , d50 and nice photos i hope.
1 more hour to upload crap before i leave for my short break.

Some things , just abit hard to say out right?

Talked non stop

2010-06-02T20:03:00.000-07:00

See the way i collect data, darn OLDSKOOL.

what the fuck was i even thinking (:

I sweared i talked the most in my life today.

I dont understand, im just that hardworking ain't i.

Senior were like, fake data can already lar.

Haha, seemed like i've changed haven't i.

Killing jelly babies while spamming supernatural .

Geography? LATER LAR, hell =)

And so , my sister wrote 10 things she hates about me.

Here is as followed:

1) Sells Fish

2)Always refuse to turn off lights during the night when i sleeps

3)Always causing nags

4)Refuse to let me touch ANYTHING

5)Always blaming me for keeping objects that she lost.

6)Forever critisizing G-Dragon

7)Always critisizing on Kdramas i like while she like only horror

8)Spends alot of money

9)Scolds me for critisizing her music when she always do that to me.

10)Likes food that other finds it hard to accept like MosBurger cause i hate it.

Well ,awesome ain't my sister, accept it

I admit i can be such a nuisance and oddball at time but well.

If you blame me, who can i blame then?

What was i doing

2010-05-31T21:08:00.000-07:00

D50@ RP

Today is terrible.

I dont feel like elaborating anything.

It was raining, i was only upset with myself i didn't notice my surroundings.
I only know it's warm.
What's the point then.?

June

2010-05-28T00:33:00.000-07:00

Time table for june for now.
Yea, it may seem empty but hell , i bet this isnt it.
This excludes pw and other CIPs and events.
Not going to continue complaining about common tests already lar.
But hell , where's my holiday?

400th Post

2010-05-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

This week has only 4 working days.
haha, GP common test was totaly draining and utter rubbish okay.
After the paper i was like tired. Never felt so tired just before.
Irony is that, i am still that tired but i went out for dinner with the usual.
Cant belive we just had to laugh at so many incidents that happen recently, erhms, people as well lar. But belive me , i was so innocent i didnt poke fun of anyone.

Yea, anyways. I totally know this isnt any holiday to come, but at least just step back letmyself slack ABIT can. Little bit lar.
Heck also. Anyways who knows you might just want to study but body will might REJECT.

Im still planning photoshoot... but plan lar. So many things to do, so little time.
Just feel like joining this october poly intake second round. Not trying to make sound that poly is slack or what , but i feel like getting out of this routine.
But, wait before i go join ms tulip at the burrows ( learnt from Gp (: ), must hang in there.
Belive i can just hang infor couple more months.

Exams are coming like such'a blow, i can hardly handle them.

this weeks product:

CSL investiture

400th post

Battery low

2010-05-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

I wish i can get knock down by a car now.

The car that is driven by you, that is.

Exhausting day

Genuine Genius

2010-05-23T00:27:00.000-07:00

Its the exam season.
Oh crap, im running out of time especially since the geog common test is brought forward to 4 june. A week earlier!....

Can you even belive this.

Nothing much i can really do about that except to start mugging like mad now.
Just hope that i dont lose my screws and turn mad suddenly.

Actually to say , this week wasnt that bad except the part when i rushed through group projectproposal which ate up hell of my hibernating hours and yea im constantly tired.
Which also meant i sleep at the slightest touch of my bed.

Have not formatted the D50 card to suit this lappy, so no better pictures to upload.
Im so bored with my routine.

I am mechanic

2010-05-17T19:15:00.000-07:00

failed attempt in drawing a robot.
look like an alien now...

I feel like one now.
My life is like one too.

Boring, doing the same old shitz every single day.
Well, at least today started off great.
I survived bio tut, tutor always givves us alot of pressure i should say.

Counting down to holidays, i need to get a messenger bag.
I dont know why, but i want to hunt for one
Odd ball already leh.

and photoshooting!

i cant think about now until holiday starts, then i can fork out time to hunt for models.

dont wish things were easier, wish you are a better person

Splash blood red

2010-05-14T22:34:00.000-07:00

Is this pure coincidence?

I did not have much faith in my photoshopping skills until like right now.
Colour splash requires original coours and just nice the coach's shirt was yellow and the red flag is too striking.
Unfortunately the team shirt was too dark to be brought forth , so i just greyscaled it anyway.

Ironically, this picture originally belongs to hillary. i took it and use it :)
yea, owe him a bunch as usual..

This whole week tortured me,
i really cant find suitable words to describe.. really
I have never failed so many tests in a row before.

Maybe the guy up there is angry with me.
I mean , i thought i have been a good kid ... but still..
yea, i dont know if anyone is feeling how i am right now, but it just feels so bad .
Worst than end of the world , since you just feel like dying in your sleep.
but you get so litte sleep is impossible to die in this painless way.
Irony of all ironies.

I really hate it when i fail by half a mark or a mark.
I rather fail badly , im serious.
it'll inflict less hurt in me i swear.
Half a mark is like a click of the finger.

Tomorrow there is 4e4 class outing.
I'll just stone if i were to go.
Things are tough with qian yu now , family issues are overtaking her i don't think i'll ask her to accompany me already. Ill just let this weekend be only meant for studying.

No hunting for male models, no photoshooting , no shopping for more clothes , no more gatherings , no more alcohol.

Just me and lappy and notes.

Exhausted , no kidding

2010-05-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

i just came back from school and yeap.
ran nafa 2.4km
Odviously i survived, i was so glad.
i live to see tomorrow =)
one burden off.

Hm,, there's chem prac-based assigment this week. followed by math lecture test and bio lt and chem energetics next week.

Hell with my life.
But with you around, i still like it.

Talentime

2010-05-08T01:14:00.000-07:00

Behind the scenes .
Performance,
No guests of honour photos.
cant remember some of which are from rehearsals.

Yellow May

2010-05-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

The word yellow comes from the Old English geolu which derived from the Proto-Germanic word gelwaz. Yellow is the color evoked by light that stimulates both the L and M (long and medium wavelength) cone cells of the retina about equally, with no significant stimulation of the S (short-wavelength) cone cells.

Look at that, totally love this pair of shoes.

This week was terrible, my fatigue problem is back and every other breaks i'll tend to go to mousehole to sleep already.

Next week is just too awesome , i cant wait for it.

Talentime testshots:

no upskirt picrures please. :S

Tough Days

2010-04-27T21:05:00.000-07:00

theheartholds.tumblr.com - LimPeiYing

You know, it's just this pleasant feeling when during your mood-less days
when a good friend of yours just makes you happy.
The strength for you to carry on the rest of the week.

=) i just miss this crazy girl so much.

Xiao Ba Wang

2010-04-25T17:07:00.000-07:00

Xiao Ba Wang is such a a nice place to eat, if only they had a bigger eating area.

I just had the sudden urge to blog about basically nothing.
Im so upset today , maybe because of a dream i don't remember that caused me to tear.
Or is it because , i lost my hope.

I really hate cheesy things like hopes and faith.
i don't like to hope, i will make it happen.
i may sound so strong hear-ted, but right, believe me.
But today i really .....

it's just hard to describe what im thinking.
The truth is don't know what im upset with.
Im confused , i dont know if i should be upset at all.
I know its just not right to feel that way, its just not normal.
when have i been normal at all anyway?
=( Disappointed in myself as well.
Right now, im conflicting, should i give my care and concern ?
should i be angry and just quit knowing so much.

Suddenly i wish i dont know anyway.
Maybe ill continue using my mobile to share my thoughts but i dont think i want to know things i dont wish to know anymore.

God, why do i always land myself in piles of shit?

Just ended tuition, im so tired, my head is hurting so much now.
Im hesitating if i should just go drinking later.
Im afraid my head will hurt much more tomorrow at school.

Photog Field Trip

2010-04-24T16:43:00.000-07:00

It was hot, it was sweaty, i was wet.
At least it didnt fail as badly as i predicted.
Alright i may sound crude, but botanic gardens is definitely not mt type of photo-shooting place. Nature? sounds like bull.

Pretty much had fun , but exhausted of cos, traveled to town after meeting qy at bvista again.
bought myself a new watch since my yellow watch spoiled :(
\im super sad.
Maybe i should just save up for yellow Swatch
=(

yes no maybe so

2010-04-23T19:06:00.000-07:00

Somehow i feel , blogging is like doing my PI already, i have no idea what to type.
My week is basically the usual .
I thought maybe i have to make a point to take out some time for to meet up usual gangs of people. then again , limited time.
my head is hurting while typing this, darn it. must be the pe.
Today's pe was terrible . I don't know why, i feel super lethargic after to day's pe, instantly on the spot, left school for home.

Today dig in to lt5 's baby grand piano.
the piano is in a terrible state..
hmm, string d is broken ( if i never remember wrongly.)

Tomorrow is the crap photog outing.
forced to plan .
i seriously have no idea why must they have this outing.
im clueless.
i have no plans in mind what to do tomorrow.
>:L

Then i attended the investiture.
Thought maybe i wont want to give this a miss.
Spectacular, interestingly entertaining.

i just know im into deep shit by keeping my eye on this individual that gives me little but significant concern that meant just too much to me.